Today I break the spell that’s had it’s hold over me.

Fuck the world cause I’m off to the shop to buy ingredients and then I’m going to cook myself an awesome pasta dinner. With chicken, bacon, some cream onion and garlic for the sauce. Phower.

How on earth did I manage to stay in this house for a week without going nuts…no wait…I did go nuts.

Moral of the story or something. If you have kids, please please either get them jabs or rub their faces all over the first chicken poxed child you see. They’ll thank you for it a in twenty three years time when they don’t end up with the disease three days before they have to go to a music festival.

So anyway.

I can’t wait till next weekend, because I’m going to get to see some friends, maybe get some sushi, maybe go to nandos, maybe have a catch up drink - and then the weekend after that I get to go away again ^_^ *touch wood*.

So yeah, I’m pretty confident that no new pox have spawned and all current ones are scabby scab scab - so risk of infection is very low now.

I really love this Feeder album, Pushing the senses, it’s very not like their early stuff, but it feels like the perfect album to listen to at the moment - a bit mellow, a bit backgroundy, and Feeder reminds me of the summer.

Oh and it’s Paul’s birthday today, Happy birthday to him! I owe that man a pint I think.

So I was just checking the period of time I’m meant to be infectious for, and it turns out that I could have been spreading the disease during my ‘incubation’ period beforehand. So heck, anyone I’ve been seeing a week or so before - yeah I may have INFECTED YOU! So stick that in your pipe and smoke it you hypochondriac bastards.

Anyway I am unofficially declaring myself out of isolation as of Sunday as no further new spots crop up, though I am now paranoid that every itch I get is pox related ARGH. Though it could just be the irritation caused by the scabs. But you know, I’m going to be all worried and stuff.

Anyyhoww, so yeah Monday I’m going to totally go somewhere, probably the doctors to get a sick note, see what he thinks about my state, then I think I’ll do something super exciting like go to tescos!!

Man, I’m so excited. To be honest I’m probably okay now, though I’ll explain that there are pregnant people at work, so I want to make super sure I’m better before I return.

I semi washed my hair yesterday, that was pretty damn nice partial relief, though scabs on my head still irritate like fuck.

I want to bake some brownies.

Feeling a bit knackered after eating today. Pretty much the same as yesterday cept a bit scabbier and in dying need to wash my hair. Got some goodish news today though, despite it being Friday the 13th, the day they say is unlucky. Well I’m naturally born unlucky so it doesn’t make any difference to me ha.

I discovered last night I have lost weight, whether this is muscle mass because I’ve barely moved for the past week, or because I’ve not been eating properly for half the week I’m not sure - but erk, I don’t want to lose any more weight.

Mentally still feel quite good, though I have to continue progress with my PP (progress has been made, just very slow progress, I’ve not got to the meat of it yet) I’ve decided to relax a little. Kick back and just take things at my own pace, do a bit of reading. And I dunno, kinda drift along and see where I end up.

I’m actually considering getting dressed today. Since I’ve been slumming it about in the same clothes for the past two days.

So the day so far, improvement!

• My brother returned home from holiday and mocked me, and he laughed at me when I explained that only I could get a contagious disease three days before I was due to go stand in a field with hundreds of other people, and then said jokingly I could have caused an epidemic. Thanks bro
• I can eat normally again hurrah! As of sometime yesterday my sore throat had magically resolved itself and I can eat solids without the fear of horrid horrid pain. Yes my jaw and general mouth/throat area still ache but at least it’s not pain
• Nick rang me to let me know bout my ticket, it doesn’t sound good so far, touts ongoing prices aren’t promising at all, but I’ll see how he gets on
• I picked off a scab from my chin today, it doesn’t look like that pox will scar, cool
• My hair is so manky it’s horrible and though I can’t wash it, brush it or anything I’ve ran my hand through it to feel out the lumps and the scabs. Mmm scabs.
• I’m getting wayy too much sleep, as I have way too much excess energy to know what to do with it, watching stuff and films is wearing me out accordingly
• I don’t seem to be getting feverish any more

So yeah, not bad, and I’m about to hit upon the hardest part of the illness period mentally - everyone is at Download now, I hope they have fun, no really I do. I’ll have to catch them all at Reading instead.

So yeah, the PP as I was on about yesterday begins today, I’m money hungry at the moment - my aim is to try and place myself in a position where I can start earning freelancing money. It’s odd, any amount of money doesn’t feel like anything really unless you start thinking about it in terms of things you enjoy.

If I start making websites, one job could be the price of another festival ticket, two jobs could mean two thirds to a dslr camera, three jobs that’s a reasonable holiday right there.

When you start thinking about money not in terms of amount, but in terms of things you want out of life then it has a whole different meaning - it gives you a whole different drive. It makes you not want the money, but want THOSE THINGS.

I know I should be all grown up and start worrying and preparing for the future now, but I just think that hey, now is now and then is then and all I ever will do in my life is spend my last penny on winging it and frivolously on the things I enjoy. Because what’s the point in or having to endure this horrible existence if you can’t enjoy life’s little pleasures? Oh don’t get me wrong, if (Big IF) I have kids, I’ll make sure they’re all sorted for the future you know - but me, nah I’m okay, just floating around.

Wooo I’m wearing REAL CLOTHES AGAIN!

It’s another lovely fantastic hot sunny glorious day outside, it has been this nice every day since I’d been ill.

Sadistic weather.

I don’t feel so ill today, my throat is kinda a bit better, I managed to eat some real food last night (”numfar do the dance of joy!”) but it still fecking hurts. The first wave of spots are crusting over, they look oh so attractive as they’re now pussing up with white stuff before drying out. My scalp is the most painful, I could barely lie down the other night, and I keep forgetting about it and itching my head and then end up in uber pain cause I forgot it’s not just an itch but probably a sore, and I can’t brush my hair properly which is driving me nuts also.

(more…)

…stop telling me that

“Oh, childhood diseases are always worse when you’re an adult…”

Thanks, yeah thanks…like my suffering alone isn’t enough for me to work that one out. It’s not comforting it’s not clever and damn hell it just makes me want to snarl and if I had the strength I would shove blunt  objects into your thigh and tell you that ‘Oh, blunt objects always hurt more than being stabbed with sharp objects…”

I think I have a spot under my eye. Great.

I keep napping on and off as I can forget about the discomfort. Though every time I do wake, I feel worse and like I’ve spawned more ailments.

I was debating if chicken pox beats the chronic food poisoning of xmas 06/new yrs 07, and I decided that yes. yes so far it wins hands down for being the most awful illness ever. It’s like having flu, mosquito bites, sore throat, muscle cramp all at the same time - in this chronic cocktail of sadistic doom and gloom.

Things I can eat

• Pate
• Soup
• water
• juice
• soggy stale biscuits soaked with tea

What a fantastic diet.