Yeah, I did write this yesterday, but totally didn’t publish it, so here it is…

Work was pretty fun today, we’ve been prepping hardcore for the sale, and well cause I’m not working upstairs I’ve had a pretty laid back day. I did work mind, but also spent some time joking about and having a laugh. Which was nice for once. I’ll actually miss it when the sale is over, as it’ll be back to boring routine and all. It was strange, I was asked to do some shop floor jobs when I wasn’t really dressed for it ha. I also had a bit of looking after temp workers too.

I also had italian for once today, mmm filled me right up and good. I’m still stuffed even now from it.

Now what would complete this day nicely is if I can think of a cool good idea for my threesixtyfive and actually go through the effort of shooting it proper. Am quite tired, and I have more work to come and the stupid death o’clock shift too. Ah well, think of the money I oh so desperately need.

In other news, I’ve been sucked in by the sales, it’s kinda good and bad that you can get first pick of the sale’s stuff before it goes out to the public. It’s insane there’s just massive massive bags full of stuff saved away by all the staff. I’ve tried to keep it to cheap odds and ends, and constantly using the line ‘welll do I reallyyy need it?’ to try and convince myself not to waste money. However I am going to splash our ten quid on this badass fluffy black dressing gown. It’s a bit oversized but it’s just sooo nice, and I know I will adore it come winter. And it has a hood, and I can probably do star wars impressions, who knows.

Gargh, I was about to do some more cheap online shopping, tho have managed to stop myself just in time >_< must remember most possessions are just fruits of a consumerist world, if I don’t really need it, then leave it well alone.

So this morning I’m back on the shop floor for four hours. Meh, but it’s such a short shift who knows what will happen. Wow this week seems to have gone really fast, and I feel like I’ve barely got anything done. I’m feeling a bit full of sigh already too, and I’m going to be pretty busy today. It’s a bit gay.

Whoops better dash.

I was just reading notes in prep for a competence interview, and it’s scared the hell out of me!

It reminds me when i was learning about how to answer essay questions in Alevels, like there’s a marking scheme and you only got points for things you did on the scheme. It seems just being intelligent and a hard worker isn’t enough any more.

God dammit, how am I going to get through this? Rabbit in headlights moment, rabbit in headlights moment! Argh!

Plus, there’s so much paperwork.

Why is life so complicated, full of paperwork and nit picking of laws and accuracies and words and requirements and lists. Everything becomes so sterile yet at the same time just cluttered, with system after system after system embedded into one another as some sort of entangled paperwork labyrinth.

Dammit, I need to calm down and just prep.

I’ve been having really weird dreams lately, it’s either ones I don’t remember, or the really evil messed up sort - the ones that are almost plausible enough to be more than a dream and they also feel oh so very real, just real enough so that when you actually wake up, for a fraction of a moment you doubt reality and you really do believe that your dreams are the truth. So you feel sick in the pit of your stomach and it takes all your sense of logic to remind you that reality is that which is happening now. And not the dreams that float in your head while you sleep and doze…

Last night’s dream was horrible, a proper insecurity mindfuck, it peves me off because I use to get these sort of dreams randomly, then I didn’t so much and now they’re back. With even more sinister bite and harsh thoughts.

This morning is brought to you by My Vitriol, tea and an original glazed krispy kreme (that has, for random information, actually travelled quite a long way just to join me as my breakfast this morn).

The weather looks like it’s going to be good today, nice.

I wish I could see My Vitriol play live, stupid cancelled gigs ( :( Me and Wince were going to go last December but the gig got postponed, well more like just proper cancelled, a total gay.)

Anyhow, time for the early morning grind. I hope my brain forgets the dream like it should do, and it hasn’t been burned into my head. Think happy shiny people holding hands.

At least I’m not tired.

Score.

Lazy sods, the lot of ya!

Anyhow that reminds me, if you have plenty of time to waste at work, get involved in a new group on flickr called Work Day Challenge. I’ve been mainly watching the fun, but alas I may drop in an effort now and again. I would actually try play at work myself, but people think I’m weird enough as it is without requesting them to take photos of me doing stupid things…

Do I always end up working in jobs that involve crazy working times?

For example I’m working 5AM….yes 5AM on Saturday, though what makes it more weird is that it’s only till 9am. Which means I’ll have the rest of the day to myself still…

In other random news, I got Heroes S2 on the go since I think it’s time I catch up on that, and I was starting to get bored with nothing to watch.

Twitter got back to my error report email to say:

Hi,

Thanks for your email. This is a bug; we’re working on fixing it. I’ll be in touch with you when we’ve resolved it. Sorry about that, and thanks for your patience!

Cheers,
Crystal

Great, so I can read all your lovely twits but I can’t respond when I’m out and about on the go. Ah well.

And dammit, I don’t have time to finish this brew.

Must try and be productive today even though I will most likely be shattered.

Off to the exceedingly early but short grind…

Okay…this actually ain’t too bad…Being awake at 6amish listening to Smashing pumpkins, eating cereal even though you’re not really that hungry yet it just…seems like the most logical step.

Off to work for four hours then going to return wondering what the hell to do with myself for the rest of the day…

Look on the bright side, it’s a glorious sunny day - the sky is singing, the birds are swaying ( - Dylan Moran), and after I finish work I can go do some tasty photolising action. Speaking of which, I think I shall get my 18-55mm sent off again since the AF has been broken on it for a while. Though I’m not sure, it could be the  body’s sensors they need cleaning? I’ll see what they think and whether I should send the body or lens

Gear I need

• Lens hood
• Wireless remote switch
• Micro gorilla pod or similar
• A good zoom lens
• A nice wide angle lens

Gargh, I wish my mother would stop harassing me, it somewhat infuriates me when she’s even TRYING to run around after me at 6am in the morning. I think she’s bonkers, why can’t she just let me get on with it, and trust my sense of judgement. GARGH too many words of a pissed off vein to spill for me to have time to do it, so I’m going to feck off and I’ll vent later.

Ah a catch up list is called for methinks…

• Been away for the weekend, was most enjoyable involving the likes of bowling (my arm hurts and I suck), cooking (pasta goodness), baking (CAKE!), maybe some wine (only with the food…and cooking), swings (Weeee!) and some tasty tasty sushi (while having to feed a invalid who couldn’t use chopsticks ;P)
• Financially bollocked - no spending! Apart from on petrol (bloody money water) and maybe if I go for a drink in the weekend.
• Just got a lovely letter from the Student loans company, oh yes, you now owe us £99999999999999999, 9247897483467893y4893278327, 9324793490374 more moneh than you did last year. Soz
• Feeling good about photography lately, new people seem to be acknowledging my ability which is nice. Plus Leon loves the photos from the wedding I took, so that’s kinda making me feel more encouraged to head towards shooting weddings. I do need to get some skills/training in handling flash though. I like it that something I’ve created can make people smile, and that I would be capturing something simple and wonderful.
• I need to find a quick way of making money (without selling ones body and self respect)
• Need to stop chewing my nails gargh
• Start new position tomorrow, welcome to the world of early starts again - oh heck

Yeah I think I’m quite busy at the moment, still generally bored though, I mean my to do list is overflowing, but it’s all just your every day boring random tasks. There’s no real excitement - le sigh.

Twitter is peving me off because it won’t let me twitter from my phone telling me my pin is invalid, when I don’t have a pin set - what a gayer. Plus they seem to be having problems in general and turned out their api stuff - get your act together twitter!

Ah I better go and do stuff and try not to spend money by just existing, plus I want to do a cloning shot today for 365…