Night-time’s a terrible thing
And my arms and my legs feel like needles and pins
My eyes they are sore, and I’m losing one thing
And I’m losing my grip on the life that I knew

And I’m sick of this
I go on forever

Black infinite space
I’m moving through, infinite space

Panic is making me ill
My perspective has gone
As I sit in this hell, where in the world
Does my sanity stretch?
And it makes me feel sick
And it doesn’t make sense

I’m a coward at heart, I’ve been from the start
Inadequate in every way

Great paranoia comes down
As I sit in the dark
But I wish I was out
This magnetic pull that is sucking me in
To this infinite space where I never can win

And I’m sick of this
It goes on forever

Black infinite space
I’m moving through, infinite space
Black infinite space
I’m coming through, out of my way

And it goes on forever

I’m a coward at heart, I’ve been from the start
Inadequate in every way

Night-time’s a terrible thing
And my arms and my legs feel like needles and pins
My eyes they are sore, and I’m losing one thing
And I’m losing my grip on the life that I knew

And I’m sick of this
I go on forever

Black infinite space
I’m coming through, infinite space
Black infinite space
I’m coming through, out of my way

Black infinite space
I’m coming through, infinite space
Black infinite space
I’m coming through, infinite space
Na-na-na-na-na-na

- Mansun

I need to find this song, I saw it listed in Mansun lyrics on a site but I’d never heard it before. Anyone got any ideas where it’s from?

Stranded here on planet earth
It’s not much but it could be worse
Everything’s free here, there’s no crowds

Winter lasted five long years
No sun will come again I fear
Chemical harvest was sown

And I will wait for you
Until the sky is blue
And I will wait for you
What else can I do?

A spaceship from another star
They ask me where all the people are
What can I tell them?

I tell them I’m the only one
There was a war but I must have won
Please take me with you.

- Porcupine Tree

This song is beautiful, it’s always been beautiful to me since I first heard it…it makes me think of how much humanity is pretty much doomed, we are just one big tragedy waiting to happen…And that really every person’s life is just a number of accidents that occur and fit together in some unusual but magical way.

Isn’t it strange, the idea that we mould everyone else’s destiny’s around us, as much as they are carving your own, despite the fact we are under the illusion that we have the ultimate control of it all. But no, maybe we’re not driven by a fixed fate or destiny, but really if you think about it, our paths are actually alive themselves, ever growing, changing; our paths have their own evolution. I can’t imagine how you could travel into the future as such, the past yes, but the future…surely if you arrived the entire reality would be constantly shifting and changing at such a rate the whole thing would be just a big blur as the past changes based on some person changing their mind, then changing it back. Then again if you actually went to the future, then it would have already happened, but as if you weren’t in it, so if you went back and lived to expect the same then maybe the future would never be the same as the one you visited because you are now in it, so your presence would have the knock on effect of reality, and therefore slightly twist the future.

Anyhow, regardless, I am beginning to see that nothing ultimately matters, but the affect of your existence does. Without knowing it, one small action or decision you make today or tomorrow could be destroying someone’s life, or is in fact making them the happiest person in the world. There’s something really magical and scary about that thought. However, we live in a selfish world, and no one really remembers this, or thinks of others, they just think of themselves. Everyone is guilty of this in some way, even myself. And that is why I think we are doomed.

But fuck it, the world is a horrible place, but there are just too many beautiful things in it to make you really hate it.

I love this video, plus teehee Thom’s facial expressions.

I’m listening to some Explosions in the sky at the moment. It’s lovely, almost beautiful, in it’s own odd way.

Tonight I’m in a really really good mood, tomorrow morning I’ll be cursing everything again, but for tonight I’m all good.

I had a rather good weekend, it’s surprising how much you can do in a short space of time.

Here is a list of some random thoughts

• Aunt bessie’s ready made gingerbread men dough is pretty good
• Ceramic painting is actually fun
• I still can’t swim
• I need sleep
• I’ve eaten too much crap this weekend
• I think I would like to learn how to bake more things
• I’m destressed for now, which is cool
• The new iphone is pretty sweet, I wouldn’t mind one I like the whole on the go internet thing. Though would probably be bad idea having the internet at my fingertips all the time

Yeah, that’s about it. I’m tired and full and I need to sleep before I get up at death o’clock where I will go ‘ugh’ and want bed again.

Going to be soo busy this week. With my crazy work hours this weekend too.

Can’t wait till I can go away again. But that’s a thought for later, for now. I’m going to just chillax…

Just listened to Nine cats unacoustic, and I just realised how phowersome it is.

It makes me feel like I should be floating about in the sky, bouncing between the stars and sitting on a cloud watching down in a hazy surreal dream.

Ah…if only such things were possible.

I’ve been hiding out the past two days either working or watching cartoons. I’ve managed to watch two seasons with my gay connection on Youtube of Animals of Farthing Wood ^_^ Though I think I may leave the third series, because it was my least favourite, and I didn’t like the rats :(

Had a great discovery the other day, synesthesia by Porcupine Tree is amazingg to drive to. Not sure about the album as a whole yet, but it’s definitely one of those you need to listen to in one go. I’m also rather enjoying The Music, I don’t know why, but seems to feel good for chilling out with.

I’m off for the weekend again from tomorrow, can’t wait, it’s been a long tiring week. Work is busy busy with the sales but plus side is a extra few hours here and there, and never being bored of not having anything to do. Though I spent the past two and half days feeling like death who didn’t get any sleep.

General mood in life is passive, I guess there’s not much I can do at the moment.

I’m in a random mood today, a sort of mood where I want to just write a load of incoherent thoughts for the hell of it.

I’m in such a great mood about photography at the minute, everything feels great. Some days I feel so run down by my projects, and my mind is a blank - but I like how I’m able to somehow find something to do. I really feel I can do this, it’s like the one thing I feel some sort of success over at the moment. It’s almost like all my flaws aren’t flaws any more.

I know I can annoy people and look the most oddest person ever when I’m carrying my camera about, taking it out, shooting something weird. But meh I don’t care, though it’s nice when you get someone who doesn’t mind, in fact almost encourage you to do it. But I think this is a vibe that really only other photographers get. Sometime it’s not easy, really, especially if you’re faced with a lot of strange looks or grumpy faces ha.

I was thinking about what sort of lens to get next, I think I’d love an awesome zoom lens, just to have a go at this whole candid street photography milarky. Or I could get a badass wide angle lens for all those cool scenary/group shots I could do. Though really I would love a wonderful portrait lens, the 50mm f1.8 is bloody nice for that as it is, but I just want something a bit more versatile that doesn’t have a fixed focal length.

Definitely getting a wireless remote asap, might be a wait, but I am just tired of having that wire. And it’ll let me do things like water related stuff without fear, and I won’t be restricted by a silly wire.

God I wish I would stop biting my nails, I’ve totally reverted back, my fingers are sore all the time. My nails look ugly, it’s terrible.

I’m listening to Up the downstair by Porcupine Tree, not a bad album, it’s definitely an album you have to listen to as a whole. Very instrumentally, some great music going on though, very proggy. Really liking it, Porcupine Tree has always been a band that I can’t seem to tire of.
Off to the pub in a mo, it’s meant to be quiz but also some allowance for some catch up, I feel a bit knackered and hence somewhat passive in mood though.

Downloading Long Way Down to enjoy <3 think its about time I actually watch it.