I’m having another one of those motivated spurts, you know, those moments where you stubbornly delude yourself with the idea that you will actually make some changes. Do a “sliding doors” on yourself and make life better.

But I have a feeling that this time it will be different.

I don’t know why, but this time I’m determined to do it. It’s probably a fools errand but hell I just need to shawshank redemption my way through it.

Because if one thing is for certain, I know I just can’t carry on like this - the way I am at the moment, because if I do will literately run myself down into the ground mentally six feet under.

It’s not going to be easy.

This is most certainly going to hurt.

I finally (after god knows how long) got round to watching Peep Show for the first time ever tonight, in fact I’ve caned off two seasons of it heh, at least Rafe can have his dvds back now.

But yes I discovered it’s a pretty awesome show, I swear it’s been a while since I’ve laughed like crazy at a show in ages. It’s just so crazy and surreal but hilarious at the same time, I don’t know why I hadn’t watched it sooner, but I guess like most things I just have to get round to finding time to do it.

Anyhow, people go watch it just because it’s good and there’s some ace quotables and lines from it. I’m going to hunt me down Season 3 eventually but after I’ve done the ten million other things that need doing before. Like blogging, argh I’m slowly, ever so slowly catching up on my blogging - I aim to sort that out before I head down to Stu’s for the extra long weekend.

<3 My Vitriol

After enduring an ever so not quiet evening at trafalgar we were now on our way to Kazzie place to partayy and have a barbecue.

Me, Bob, Stephie and Kev took the tube to the hotel where we met up with Leon and then jumped into my car and set off towards Hemel, but first stopping off at the first supermarket we found. Which happened to be the Tescos that I was trying to lead Kev to the Thursday night ha.
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It’s times like these where I wished I had more Six Feet Under episodes to watch, but alas I caned off the rest of that series a while ago.

I feel like Claire though, (granted I am neither an art student who got a show and got really arrogant and sniff drugs but alas..) just that same vibe, and I horrible idea that I don’t have much choice but to do something just to get the money in. But I have a lot of pride and stubborn belief that I think I can actually get that dream job.

I guess I’m worried that if I get the “money job” that will be the best of my life, my entire life will be made up of “money jobs” and the career - the idea of being something amazing won’t ever happen. Just like a million other things that I keep kidding myself that will happen.

At least I’ve been applying for jobs/looking for jobs to apply for recently as oppose to just glaring and biting my nails to death trying not to freak out. Also trying to sort my sleeping patterns out, though I’ve not exactly got into the working hours body clock yet at least I’m not getting up after 2pm which to me is a good start.

One step at a time eh?

I guess it hasn’t helped that I’d gotten into a bit of wifi tetris lately with Bob, Wince and Kev, ha it’s been a good laugh especially since Kev and Bob have been whoring out a new tetris move…

I’m going to spend the weekend blogging I think, once I get that under wraps I’ll start to slowly get everything else updated and in check in my life methinks. Maybe? Mergh. I want to take photos, I got the bug real bad and I’m just dying to take something exciting and inspired. It’s that sodding Ours photo that’s done it, I don’t know how I can get so excited by a sodding image ha.

I’m loving the My Vitriol demos that Wince has sent me, some tracks do need reproducing but I’m just starting to listen to one that has exactly the same vibe of their older stuff that made me fall in love with them in the first place.

Ah I’m so glad that good music and good photos can sort me out.

All I need now is the summer weather to sort it’s self out and I’ll feel a lot more happier me thinks. Oh and to be rich haha. God I feel so bad of late I’m being really antisocial to my olde schoolies because if the grumpiness of being poor/unemployed, I’m trying to save money so badly to make sure I can pull myself out the credit card pickle I’m in…

I can’t wait for the My Vitriol gig.

With the following:

• Nine Cates (acoustic) by Porcupine Tree
• Roads by Portishead
• RAW files and processing images with photoshop
• My camera all over again
• Photography
• Reading articles in design magazines and relating to/understanding them
• Pate on toast phower
• Wifi Tetris action
• (Mis)Adventure
• Tea
• That really gorgeous walnut cake from the market
• Mediterranean mix (olive goodness)
• Sitting in the garden reading/on my laptop
• Hanging out with friends
• The sensation of finally beginning to know what I want to do with myself and life
• Making lists

And this photo:

I saw the Mexicolas play at the Sugarmill in Stoke, though the turn out wasn’t great they still put on a good show, and I took plenty of photos. Was very hard, low light with a kit lens urgh, but I shot in the raw for the first time at a gig and I’m totally converted to raw now. So much flexibility in processing. But yeah, having to use a high iso also challenged me in how I processed them afterwards, I had a bit of experimenting with the high contrast look.

Shooting in raw also forced me to pick and choose my shots (I’m sure much to Bob’s relief heh) and so there’s only a select few in the set.

My personal favourite:

View the full set here

Or check out The Mexicolas here